Welcome! I'm Glad You're Here

Prone to Wander:

A commentary on life and God through the lens of a mother who is prone to wander.

To be upfront, this blog is extremely selfish. If you're a mother as well, then you'll understand quicker than most. If you aren't, you'll likely still understand, but it may take some explaining. Allow me to do just that.

You see, I have a little boy who is 2 and a baby girl on the way (ETA: December 16). I am fairly new to the whole stay-at-home-mom life and it has hit me pretty hard. For the past 5 years, I have been a volleyball coach and a seminary teacher to some of my favorite humans on earth: teenagers. Both jobs highlighted my strengths, polished my weaknesses, and filled me with such a sense of purpose and direction. Now, with the absence of these two passions, I find myself with a few voids in my soul. Motherhood, my new full-time job, instead makes me question my strengths, shows me new weaknesses every day, and fills me with a constant sense of inadequacy and mindless repetition. I was warned that the title of Mom can seem to suck away the rest of your identity; like some grand eraser out to eliminate past you from existence completely. I have learned, however, that motherhood does not take the old you away, it simply adds fresh clay to add depth to who you already are. And while the process comes with growing pains and a whole lot of feeling lost in limbo, your passions, interests, and qualities from before can come along for the ride. It just might take some creativity and persistence to figure out how they fit in the new picture.

My family, a year ago...lol updated picture pending

So, I guess this blog is my attempt to take this new phase of life and squeeze some of my old passions back into it: writing, Jesus, maybe some teaching, along with my newer passion for being a mom.

What to Expect

The title of this blog is Prone to Wander. This is for 2 main reasons.

First, it is part of my favorite stanza in the beautiful Christian hymn, Come Thou Font, and the title of one of the only pieces of Christian art that has ever moved me so deeply to instant tears (and instant purchase).

Prone to Wander, by Malory Fiso

The lyric reads:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;

Prone to leave the God I love.

Both the verse and painting so beautifully capture the tug-of-war that I experience daily. I love God. I know Him. I know His grace and abounding mercy and cannot deny His reality; and yet I find myself prone to wander, prone to so easily abandon Him and His will. But just as predictable as my wandering from Him, is His seeking of me. Something I think the woman in Malory Fiso's painting has come to realize. He who pleads 'come unto me' has, in fact, come unto her. He who says 'I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you' has kept His promise. Whether it was sin or circumstance, choice or chance, this woman has wandered. And by goodness and grace, loyalty and love, the Redeemer of the world, her Redeemer, has found her. You can expect to read about spiritual wandering here. How it is entirely possible to wander and wonder in your faith, and still find God; or, rather, be found by Him.

Second, you can expect to read some insights on the Come, Follow Me gospel study curriculum from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I mentioned that I've been a seminary teacher for the past 5 years. Because of this, my study of the scriptures has been greatly focused on lesson planning and prepping for my students. It honestly felt like I was on my mission again. I struggled to find the desire to immerse myself in God's word for me. And I am still relearning how to do that. With the beginning of the New Testament in a few weeks, I plan to use this space as a sort of study journal for anything that sounds a little sweeter to my soul. My scriptural wanderings, if you will.

And So...

In the words of an obnoxious Lightning McQueen toy and my toddler, let's do this! If you find yourself wanting to read these posts, you can expect them weekly. As I said at the beginning of this post, this blog is mostly selfish, but you are more than welcome to stop on by as you please. If you read something and think that someone else might benefit, share it. If something I share moves you, I'd love to hear about it. Happy wandering.