My little brother is getting married today.
Which is odd because he’s supposed to be frozen perpetually at the spry age of 9.
But I guess he went and grew up. Found an amazing gal. Fell in love (I guess 9 year olds do that). And today is the big day.
And yesterday? Well, it was my 5 year anniversary.
So yeah, I’ve got a lot of thoughts and a lot of feels this weekend.
5 years. Apparently it’s the wood anniversary…? Though I’m not entirely sure I understand that whole system.
5 years of choosing someone every day, and being chosen right back.
5 years of inside jokes, miscommunication, old friends and new friends. Making big decisions and everyday little changes.
5 years of new apartments, new degrees, new jobs and new roles. New hobbies and new interests, new nondairy meals and new goals for the future.
5 years. 4 moves. 3 legitimate family vacations. 2 kids. 1 quarantine. A million laughs.
And while 5 years isn’t long and it went by crazy fast, it feels like it’s own wonderful entire lifetime.
When Tanner and I were planning our wedding, a lot of things fell nicely into place. We agreed on a lot and he was happy to provide advice, suggestions, and even add a riding lawn mower to our registry. For the lawn we most certainly didn't have. One thing that was completely his decision though, was our first dance song.
We listened to classic choices, my favorite love songs, beautiful covers… everything from Frank Sinatra to Michael Buble to Kenny Chesney.
In the end, the choice was made. An artist neither one of us really ever listen to, a song with words that perfectly captured how 2018 Tanner and Ciara felt about finding each other.
Give it a listen if you so desire, otherwise just scroll on.
If you'd rather not listen to the whole thing, here's a verse and the chorus for a taste:
I was a boat stuck in a bottle
That never got the chance to touch the sea
Just forgot on the shelf
No wind in the sails
Goin' no where with no one but me
I was one in a hundred billion
A burned out star in a galaxy
Just lost in the sky, wonderin' why
Everyone else shines out but me
But
I came to life when I first kissed you
The best me has his arms around you
You make me better than I was before
Thank God I'm yours
Such a short and simple song. But the words were perfect for that dance. Other than the days I gave birth to our children, I have never felt as much gratitude in my heart as I did that day with Tanner. That he was mine and I was his. That we both pull out the best versions of the other.
Marriage is such a special thing.
Obviously other people in your life will love you and appreciate you, but to find someone who sees the sum of your best and broken parts and loves it all; someone who wants to bind themselves to you and promise forever; someone who chooses to enter your messy life to stay... what could possibly be better?
Some believe marriage to be a government construct. A piece of paper. Void of real meaning or power. But I believe marriage to be not man-made but God-given. Something holy and heavenly that has the potential to give us a glimpse of a happiness that this earth alone can't quite provide. And even if you remove the spiritual element, it is still a beautiful commitment between two people to remain by each other's side through the worst of what this life has to offer, to choose each other, to work to be worthy of each other.
And I choose Tanner. And I thank my God every day that he chooses me.
My wedding day 5 years ago holds such a special place in my heart because of the man who became my husband, my protector, my confidant, and truly my better half in every way. To have, to hold, to keep, to love, to choose and keep on choosing that day, every day since, and every day to come.
I'm so unbelievably excited for my little brother and his beautiful bride to experience the joy and grace that come with this choice in life🤍
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